It can be hard in these streets being a geek! The gatekeeping, the judgement from friends and family, our own self-doubt from experiencing all that negativity…
I’ll show you how to combat it with grace, and boost your mindset in the process; don’t worry, I gotchu.
Welcome to #QuirkCounselor! The Quirktastic series where you can come for support, resources, encouragement, and inspiration to continue (or start!) living a life that genuinely brings you joy. Despite the naysayers and self-doubt you might experience trying to do so.
There should be no shame in loving and being your geeky self, but there sure are plenty of people trying to tell you otherwise, huh?
And there’s even people out here telling us what a geek is “supposed” to look like! Like WUT?!
Chile I can’t even… We have a whole entire movement surrounding what a geek ACTUALLY looks like, but I digress.
Anyway, I have a few ways you can clap back with grace, and take care of your own mentality too. #FillYourCup
New Perspective: The person lives in their own model of the world.
We all live in our own model of the world!
We all are walking around with our own limiting beliefs, life experiences, values, beliefs, and more. So what anyone says to you about what THEY think you should or shouldn’t be doing with your life (so long as you’re not hurting yourself or others) is irrelevant to you.
Even if it’s someone you love, they’re telling you what they think is best for you based on how they see the world.
Can’t hold it against them; it’s just all on them, yeah?
Yeah. Don’t stress it!
New Perspective: Why do you feel you NEED to prove yourself right?
Sometimes we argue because we feel we need to justify ourselves and our beliefs and selves period.
But ask yourself this: what would happen if you didn’t feel like you needed to prove yourself right them?
Like really ponder that! What would happen if the person who told you that you need to “start acting like an adult and stop the cosplay crap” or “to make something of your life and stop wasting time playing video games/watching anime/reading comics/reading tarot/etc.” didn’t hold any power over what YOU actually know you’re doing with, and loving in your life?
Remember, you don’t need to waste your time or energy justifying who you are to others.
And if you’re still struggling with this, sit down and ask yourself why? Why can’t you let it go and just do you, boo?
I believe in you and your kickass geeky self!
Them: “You don’t look like you’d be into ___________…”
Your Cute Clapback: “What DOES ___________ look like? Says who?”
Catch them off-guard and let them explain what does a person who loves video games look like.
What does a cosplayer look like, hmm??
Someone into anime… remind me again, how are they supposed to look?
And who says??? *waits with pen and notepad to take official names*
Them: “You’re too _______ to really be into _________.”
Your Cute Clapback: “How so? How does that make logical sense?”
You’ll be waiting a loooong time for an answer on how this makes sense in any way, I’m sure…
Them: “If you’re really into _________, name # of _________!”
Your Cute Clapback: “Why is that the official number? Since when did I have to know a certain number of what I like in order to like it? Do people quiz you on facts about your favorite food to make sure you really like it?”
Change their perspective around this stupid gatekeeping and see if we can get any further with how me liking a certain number of something I like makes sure that I honestly do like it.
New Perspective: Your unconscious mind LOVES taking things personally, so don’t!
If some troll tries to get a rise out of you, know that your unconscious mind loves finding things that are going on in your life as personal jabs.
Instead, look at that troll as THEM having some issues they need to work out within themselves. They’re just trying to project their own issues onto others. Don’t worry about it!
Them: “I thought you were a REAL _________!”
Your Cute Clapback: “Me liking ________ makes me less of a _______ how? How so? How so? Says who?”
Wear them DOWN and make them look silly as heck to think your interests mean you’re a certain gender, type of person, sexual orientation, etc.
With you consistently asking them “how so?” and “says who?”, they’re not going to be able to make any logical sense around any BS “because” comeback they attempt to conjure up.
New Perspective: You ultimately get to choose how you respond, react, and feel toward any situation. YOU can either hold the power to your own life, or give it away to others. You decide.
This is also a reminder for you to conserve your energy and time for more important moments of your life.
We truly have the power over our lives and how we decide to respond, react, and feel toward any situation.
How we’ve been influenced by family, friends, religious backgrounds, politics, media, society, and more is how our own world is shaped. It’s why two people can go through the exact same situation at the exact same time and get two completely different takeaways from the situation.
So you can decide how pissed (and how long) you’ll be about trolls and family and friends who just refuse to understand or respect your interests.
YOU decide how you’re going to react to these people, or ultimately how you’re gonna feel.
Keep the power of how you navigate YOUR life in YOUR hands; don’t give such a precious power away to others. Especially to those who show a lack of respect for you.
How much did these points help you out? Wanna talk about it? You can find fellow geeks over on our Quirktastic friendship app and use the hashtag #ThisIsWhatAGeekLooksLike over on Twitter and Instagram to tell your empowering story about being a proud geek!
What’re you waiting for?! Go go go!!
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A mindset coach, foodie, writer, and creative coder that never "grew up" from her punk phase... or anime... or anything else epic like that.